solitude

Moments of solitude

"Well, you didn't wake up this morning
'Cause you didn't go to bed..
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red.

The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off.
You've been reading some old letters,
& you smile and think how much you've changed.
All the money in the world,
Couldn't buy back those days.

You pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes.
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.

& you thought :
This is the day, your life will surely change.
This is the day, when things fall into place.

You could've done anything if you'd wanted,
and all your friends and family think that you're lucky.
But the side of you they'll never see,
is when you're left alone with the memories & frustrations,
That hold your life together like glue.."


Need to get away, right away, far away.
Rawa, here i come.. !!!

she-male

A tribute to "ayu", the she-male cat

They love, they share.
Love, love, love!!
Share, share, share!!

He's a limber lad.
She's a powerful lass.
He'll wring your neck,
and she'll kick your ass.

& they'll fill your hearts with looooooooove.... !!!

(courtesy of THE SIMPSONS)

Tagged by si lalok - 8 points of my perfect lover :

1) He smells nice - bad ordour is a MAJOR turn off
2) He loves me - endlessly. & for who i am (cliche)
3) He's charming - at least towards me. Polite & soft spoken. Oh great voice is a bonus
4) He's scruffy looking - i like my man messy, but not filthy
5) He's flexible - gracefully embracing the challenges & changes thrust upon him
6) He's knowleagable - for daily dose of verbal & intellectual sparring
7) He's optimistic - negativity's tiring, it weights me down
8) He's content - for stability and security, and keeping my sanity intact

That's all i could think of at this very moment, those points might change on monthly basis. Maybe even by tomorrow. Feel free to to be tagged ya, everyone, anyone. Just help urself. Don't forget to share it with me.

Then again, there's no such thing as a perfect lover, just the right one that suits you just right..

livewire

"u r a livewire with family and friends but shy with strangers"

I'm still recuperating from Spain's lost. Followed by Sweden and Ukraine. Leaving me with my 4th option, those French. Oh well. ROCKSTAR is back.. yezzaaaaa!!! Supernova, with super-hot-scruffy-looking Tommy lee.. (ok sumerg boleh muntah skrang)

No man is an island. No man should be an island. But in the end, everyone is to his own island..
Which I find very hard to deal with till this very moment...
We need friends. Friends need us. We love one another. We are just too cynical to be half honest about it, especially to those who really matter..

We treat the public in general with the utmost courtesy but keep hurting the ones we loved. WHY?!!!!!!!
They are often left dangling & hanging, longing for a simple appreciative evidence of tender, loving & care. Simply put, we take them for granted, that they'd always be there when u need them. That they'd never leave. That they don't need to be told of how much you care. Until one day, they are gone & it's too late.
Most of the time they don't expect you to. But still, "thank you"s or "I love u"s can never be too late nor too much. And nothing beats the feeling that you've brighten up someone else's day

Its funny how we joked about our most beloved, referring to ur closest galfrens as your bitches, calling them bastards and what not, and everyone is genuinely OK with it. But we get pissed off & went all defensive when others started to bitch about them. Like us Malaysians, we trash our own country in action & speeches, of its infamous public toilets & what not, but get all patriotic at those negative remarks made by mere outsiders.
It's weird. Good weird. But still weird.

Embarking on this journey called life, I strive to give unconditionally, be content, but not complacent. Nevertheless, there's still something missing, creating imaginary holes, tricking u into thinking with all those extra few pounds of body mass, u r still empty inside. How much further inside, depends on those layers of fat, the thickness, the shapes & sizes.
To make matter worse, I don't even know what's really lacking. Or leaking. Or both. Or neither.
I thought at the age of 23 I could master the skills of handling world-ly affairs. Of taking care of myself. Or at least, the right path to my own enlightenment, physically & spiritually. Guess I am still enroute, maybe it's not that far away anymore.

But right now, I just don't care. I don't feel like doing anything. Except for wanting to fled to Calcutta & stay there for a year at least, doing hospice work.

heaven bound

" Seasons come and seasons go.. One day sun, the next day snow. Flowers die and flowers grow,
But love is never-ending..

You can't kill it with goodbye.. It always finds a place to hide.. Inside your heart for your whole life..


Love is never-ending



When the lights have all gone down..
it'll still be hanging around..
Even when u think it's lost, it can still be found...

When every memory has been made..
And the pages start to fade.
When you think the ride is over..
You're back at the beginning..
Love is never-ending

It keeps goin' on and on..
Long after we're all gone away

Time may change what you believe
But one day the truth will set you free
Just have faith and you will see
Love is never-ending..."

brotherly

"When u find urself.. in some far off place.
And it calls u.. to rethink some things.

You start to sense
& slowly you're becoming someone else
& then you find yourself

& things that would've been lost on you..
are now is clear as it bears
& u find urself.
that's when u find ursef

And you go through life.. so sure of where you're heading.
& u wandered lost.. & its the best thing that could've happened to you.
cause sometimes when you lose your way, it's really just as well.

Because then you find urself..
that's when you find urself"
"Find Yourself" by my favorite country singer, Brad Pasley. OST of CARS.

Of many many foreseeable things my brother like best to have for the eve of his birthday this year was to watch the latest Pixar's movie CARS. So at the strike of midnight, there goes the 7 of us in the pajero, disastrous combination of 5 young adults, 1 underage and 1 not-so-young adult (he already has 4 kids ok), zooming across the neighborhood to catch the 12.45 show. We rammed onto dividers for the sake of driving a FWD, to watch by far the most enjoyable & colorful animated movie of characters from a hillbilly hell of a town.
CARS is a must see. Already second in my favorite list. Not 'classic', but definitely well made.

The next thing was to find a place to eat. It was an arduous task trying to agree on one as there were 7 semi-functioning heads(it was already 3.15 in the morning) with 7 different tastes.
We opted to try out the new 'uptown' in Kota Damansara as only one of us has actually been there.

The road enroute was less inviting, civilization is pretty much under construction. No wonder new 'uptown's sprang so many elsewhere (Subang, Setapak, Cheras; to name a few) as the one they've secluded for is in the middle of nowhere, not very good managerial business decision I must say.
Hence the food is okay. Spacious open-air stalls, just the way we like it aka less stuffy. Suprisingly clean too. But it is 3am on a Friday, a weekday. Most of shops were already closed or closing. Maybe it fills up more during the weekends. Maybe even dirtier.

The atmosphere is an entirely different story. Provided that it's school holidays, children were eveywhere, helping out at the stalls. The area is actually some sort of a multi-purpose hall with court lines, badminton nets, a stage - free karaoke session was held on that stage. There was even a house DJ.
While munching away we can't help but noticing the tranquility and complacency of the place. Teenagers playing takraw on one the courts, children playing badminton, mothers gossiping.. There was a sight of a pakcik reading a newspaper while sipping away a cup of coffee..
Despite the blaring music from the karaoke session which gratefully sounded quite good, everyone seemed to be having sucha a great time. Everyone seems to know everyone else. Laughters filled the air. Macam suasana petang2 di kawasan perumahan. I looked at my watch. It was nearly 0500 hour. They must be living in a different time zone I guess.

Well, even in this middle of nowhere there were the existence of rempits on road. It has always existed and will never be totally eradicated, even widespread-ing.

I love my brothers. For worldcup, GO ESPANA~!!!