Out of focus

Status update: My life is a mess.

As messy and dirty as the state of my boots

And my car with the missing plate number

Distracted.

Nothing gets done.

Too many productivity killers.

Need to focus.

The flesh is willing,

but the spirit is weak.

Good night. 

Late Uncle

Suatu hari di hari raya..

"Ayah Nyah awak tu baik sangat, Mak Nyah rindu sangat dia, rasa macam semalam je, tapi dah tiga tahun dah..

 

Orang kampung selalu cakap, Ayah Nyah tu baik, sentiasa tolong azan kat masjid, tolong kalau ada kenduri, tak pernah berkira nak pinjamkan van ke amek pisang ke apa ke.. Insya Allah, Ayah Nyah bahagia di sana.. 

 

Bila Mak Nyah demam, sakit sikit, tak larat nak masak, Ayah Nyah masakkan siap hantar kat katil. Bila Mak Nyah penat, Ayah Nyah yang masakkan, dia faham, tak pernah paksa atau merungut..

 

Bila jalan-jalan dengan anak-anak, mana-mana, mesti belikan makanan “Haaa ni Mak korang suka makan”

 

Bila tak kerja, lepas hantar anak-anak pergi sekolah, kadang-kadang “Pah, jom pergi keluar makan”, terus pergi dating berdua pergi makan, jalan-jalan dekat-dekat ke jauh-jauh sikit ke..

 

Nak tinggi suara, memang tak pernah. Dia tau Mak Nyah macam mana, tak penah marah Mak Nyah depan orang, tak pernah tegur kasar-kasar, sentiasa backing Mak Nyah depan orang lain.. Berlembut sangat dengan Mak Nyah, dengan anak-anak.

 

Anak-anak semua sayang sangat kat dia, dalam seminggu tu at least sekali la, mesti sebut Abah diorg. Rindu sangat-sangat..

 

Dah pernah dapat suami yang baik camtu, macam mana la nak terbukak hati lagi nak terima orang lain yang mengorat2 ni..

 

Mak Nyah redha, tapi memang sampai sekarang rindu lagi, tak terbukak pintu hati lagi... "

*kesat air mata

 

Al Fatihah Ayah Nyah. Semoga kita semua mendapat jodoh yang baik seperti beliau insya Allah 

Mak

May 22.
Happy Birthday Mak!!!!
I love you!!!!!!!

monkey business

Aboo by SheezyArt

Aboo is my favorite monkey. Aboo makes me smile when all else failed. Aboo is cute but handsome at the same time. Me loves Aboo, not Aladdin.

Dinner with friends from yesteryears last night, I pondered once again on how time flies, how most people changed, for the better. And how little I changed, for better or worse. Mid life crisis should be over by the age of 26, no? Mine is prolonged, to the point of being annoying. Void filled but not without the ugly aftermath, the one I failed to clean up for and let others do it for me. I'm a disappointment to many, to myself I can't forgive. For that, I am sorry.

Am financially, physically, emotionally and mentally broke. Will look for Brains I misplaced soon, will stop listening to Heart for a short while. Embracing my fate. So what's next?

Wishing for enough happiness to keep everyone happy, everyday. You deserve to be happy. You deserve better.

Random: I have this thing for crow's feet on guys, I find them charming and nice to look at, no?

LANDSLIDE - Dixie Chicks

I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
And I'm getting older too

Well ...



this song brought me more tears than everything else ever did