livewire

"u r a livewire with family and friends but shy with strangers"

I'm still recuperating from Spain's lost. Followed by Sweden and Ukraine. Leaving me with my 4th option, those French. Oh well. ROCKSTAR is back.. yezzaaaaa!!! Supernova, with super-hot-scruffy-looking Tommy lee.. (ok sumerg boleh muntah skrang)

No man is an island. No man should be an island. But in the end, everyone is to his own island..
Which I find very hard to deal with till this very moment...
We need friends. Friends need us. We love one another. We are just too cynical to be half honest about it, especially to those who really matter..

We treat the public in general with the utmost courtesy but keep hurting the ones we loved. WHY?!!!!!!!
They are often left dangling & hanging, longing for a simple appreciative evidence of tender, loving & care. Simply put, we take them for granted, that they'd always be there when u need them. That they'd never leave. That they don't need to be told of how much you care. Until one day, they are gone & it's too late.
Most of the time they don't expect you to. But still, "thank you"s or "I love u"s can never be too late nor too much. And nothing beats the feeling that you've brighten up someone else's day

Its funny how we joked about our most beloved, referring to ur closest galfrens as your bitches, calling them bastards and what not, and everyone is genuinely OK with it. But we get pissed off & went all defensive when others started to bitch about them. Like us Malaysians, we trash our own country in action & speeches, of its infamous public toilets & what not, but get all patriotic at those negative remarks made by mere outsiders.
It's weird. Good weird. But still weird.

Embarking on this journey called life, I strive to give unconditionally, be content, but not complacent. Nevertheless, there's still something missing, creating imaginary holes, tricking u into thinking with all those extra few pounds of body mass, u r still empty inside. How much further inside, depends on those layers of fat, the thickness, the shapes & sizes.
To make matter worse, I don't even know what's really lacking. Or leaking. Or both. Or neither.
I thought at the age of 23 I could master the skills of handling world-ly affairs. Of taking care of myself. Or at least, the right path to my own enlightenment, physically & spiritually. Guess I am still enroute, maybe it's not that far away anymore.

But right now, I just don't care. I don't feel like doing anything. Except for wanting to fled to Calcutta & stay there for a year at least, doing hospice work.