Out of focus

Status update: My life is a mess.

As messy and dirty as the state of my boots

And my car with the missing plate number

Distracted.

Nothing gets done.

Too many productivity killers.

Need to focus.

The flesh is willing,

but the spirit is weak.

Good night. 

Late Uncle

Suatu hari di hari raya..

"Ayah Nyah awak tu baik sangat, Mak Nyah rindu sangat dia, rasa macam semalam je, tapi dah tiga tahun dah..

 

Orang kampung selalu cakap, Ayah Nyah tu baik, sentiasa tolong azan kat masjid, tolong kalau ada kenduri, tak pernah berkira nak pinjamkan van ke amek pisang ke apa ke.. Insya Allah, Ayah Nyah bahagia di sana.. 

 

Bila Mak Nyah demam, sakit sikit, tak larat nak masak, Ayah Nyah masakkan siap hantar kat katil. Bila Mak Nyah penat, Ayah Nyah yang masakkan, dia faham, tak pernah paksa atau merungut..

 

Bila jalan-jalan dengan anak-anak, mana-mana, mesti belikan makanan “Haaa ni Mak korang suka makan”

 

Bila tak kerja, lepas hantar anak-anak pergi sekolah, kadang-kadang “Pah, jom pergi keluar makan”, terus pergi dating berdua pergi makan, jalan-jalan dekat-dekat ke jauh-jauh sikit ke..

 

Nak tinggi suara, memang tak pernah. Dia tau Mak Nyah macam mana, tak penah marah Mak Nyah depan orang, tak pernah tegur kasar-kasar, sentiasa backing Mak Nyah depan orang lain.. Berlembut sangat dengan Mak Nyah, dengan anak-anak.

 

Anak-anak semua sayang sangat kat dia, dalam seminggu tu at least sekali la, mesti sebut Abah diorg. Rindu sangat-sangat..

 

Dah pernah dapat suami yang baik camtu, macam mana la nak terbukak hati lagi nak terima orang lain yang mengorat2 ni..

 

Mak Nyah redha, tapi memang sampai sekarang rindu lagi, tak terbukak pintu hati lagi... "

*kesat air mata

 

Al Fatihah Ayah Nyah. Semoga kita semua mendapat jodoh yang baik seperti beliau insya Allah 

On your side

Going to work this morning, I found myself sighing at this T-junction as traffic was stalled - I wasn't expecting that as it was still way to early for going-to-work traffic jam. As I drove onwards, I saw a lady sprawling by the road side. Apparently there was an accident, to my relief she looked pretty much alive. From the look of it, I reckoned that she fell of this motorcycle she was riding to work with her husband. That was when I suddenly realised why people would want to get a life partner or get married.
 
How did it come to that? As I sat there in my car watching the patrol officer clearing up the area, the (assumed) husband, bleeding profusely from the mouth, kept attending to his (assumed) wife, consoling her, cleaning up here face with a piece of cloth, hugging and covering her from the commotion building up around them. She was clearly upset and in pain, and just having someone by her side in that time of need, was already something I would've greatly appreciate myself.

<3

In a perfect world, marriage is having the assurance that someone will always be there for you. Even for instance if that lady was not with her husband during that accident, the husband would be the first one being notified, the first person who'd rushed to the hospital to see her and stay with her 'till she gets better.
I didn't get that before. I don't really know how that scenario led me to that understanding but yes it made me understand on one of the many reasons of why people would want to have a life partner.

We have parents, bestfriends, good friends, good samaritans and all the good people in the world that would lend a hand but would they really be there in your time of need? Maybe, but would they always be on your side? Only when it's convenient to them.

Having a life partner is sort of having all that, someone that is yours truly, that would ALWAYS be on your side. He would make time for you, would commit, would get angry and be mad at you for doing stupid things but would would never leave you or give up on you (unless you've crossed the line of course)

A bit too far fetched? Maybe.

I just hope that lady is OK. Stay safe on the road everyone!

Pledge

Hi,

I'm giving up my next birthday for clean water. Check out my charity:water campaign! mycharitywater.org/nanayau

Thanks!

When

"When your girl wants to get married and you don't, my advice is to break it off.."

"I don't think there is anything wrong with someone wanting to get married. I really don't. But I also see nothing's wrong with not wanting to get married. What I see as wrong, is not respecting your needs as well as respecting the needs of your partner. It's wrong when two people can't accept that they each want different things in life. She really can't expect to be able to pressure you into taking a huge life altering step that you don't want to take. But guess what, Skippy. It works both ways. The same goes for you. You can't expect her to give up on a huge life changing step that she wants to take.."

Miniature

I want one!

Miniature garden, picture from Moskkithings

Why am I..

"When Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists alike realise and respect the sacredness in the other, and drop the claim that they alone monopolise all that is good and holy; perhaps then we will be one step closer to recognising the fundamental humanity we share with each other – whether we like it or not"

Why I'm  a Muslim:
I believe in the concept of a sole Creator; something as mind blowing and complex as the universe and everything in it MUST have a Creator, and the Creator must be in the form of ultimate greatness, beyond the limitation of our logical mind. In that sense, only Islam has given me that most acceptable answer, in the most logical way it can be.

On the highest peak of South East Asia - the Mt. Kinabalu, 2009

Why I'm a Muslim:
I love history, and understanding the Quran (well, most of it) is like reading a great rendition of the world from its very beginning, and how beautiful of a book it is indeed. Beautifully written that you don't have to really understand it to know that it is an extremely good book.

Why I'm a Muslim:
I've never understood this before but as I grow up, I understand why Mom says that we need religion to keep us sane, especially in times of great sorrow and trouble. It teaches you not to mourn the passing of loved ones to the point of ruining your own lives, it teaches you not to lose hope when everything else fails, as you know, that the Al Mighty is constantly there, watching over you. You believe that He is looking after you, and Him being the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful, won't let anything hurt you beyond your limit. Dzikir and prayers and even the simple reading of the Quran can give the serenity you seek, the peace of mind, like reading something soothing, and saying positive things to yourself.

Why I'm a Muslim:
I love the concept of having my hair covered. I don't wear it because Islam says so, I started doing it out of instinct - it made me feel safe. I can only speak for myself; don't know why others do it but for me, it is my control factor. When I wear it, people simply don't ask me to do bad things with them. I get less harassment, less unnecessary attention; which suits me best (may be not suitable for those who loves extra attention, imho). I agree that it makes you less attractive, less fashionable and some people might hate it, but I am comfortable with it. So to me, if you don't want to wear it, you just won't wear it, even if the religion says so.

Why I'm a Muslim:
Islam is in simple word, believing in the Almighty, and the teachings delivered by Muhammad (p.b.u.h). I was born a Muslim. I was taught the Malay Muslim way of living, which may differ greatly from those other Muslims but the fundamental, of believing in Him and the teachings, are the same, supposed to be the same.

It's the "design appraisal," the proves I kept encountering on the logic and reasons on why certain things are banned in Islam - eating pork (it is also banned in the bible), drinking alcohol, the 'hudud' and others. Many often than not, those banned things cause more bad than good to us human, so why do it the first place? For instance the alcohol, yes it is used widely used in the perfume, cosmetics and medicine industry, in a controlled manner, for good causes. Unlike if you were to consume it directly, responsibly or not, the influence of alcohol turns your mind and body into something that you can't control 100%. I love my body, I love my mind - those are the only things that I owned, it is mine 100% and I don't like to be out of control. If you think you can have total control on your actions and thinking even under the influence of alcohol, by all means, continue doing it.

Well that's just me, in the simplest English, most layman way of sharing the reasons why I am a Muslim. Better answers can be found from experts and scholars but yeah, I like who I am right now, always trying to be the best me I can be. It is the matter of preference, some might like it and do it, some might love being a Muslim or a Buddhist, others don't. Let's just not forget that at the end of the day, we are all human being, under the same human race, so no such thing as good person bad person, good race bad race; no one is technically better than anyone else, not until they were to inflict harm on others. Period.

Have a great week!

Small things



"You sit"

"In the end, it's the small things that matter. The first cup of coffee every morning, the kind, random deeds, and eventually giving up the remote control.. It does not always have to be hard work"

Happy New Year

From a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Watterson. Here's to another great year, happy 2012 everyone!