I've been at grandma's during the long weekends.
Her chickens are dead, eaten by dogs.
There's a new fish pond in sight, replacing the old one, and 'tailored' as of a zen garden. Cemented, so that u can actually swim in it, among the fishes.
I was never the fav grandchild, Wan(its wut I call my grandma)has more than 50 to choose from anyway.I was never the one she asked to do things for her, not the one who gets the most angpows, led my girl cousins in picketing against doin the housework, used her 'bedak batu' as chalks and the walls as blackboard while playing "cikgu cikgu", destroyed most of her plants (onions, serai, kedondong, etc) while playing "masak masak", etc. Same as mother.
I was this outwardly happy kid but inside, im just sad & angry, the silent-rebel-without-a-cause type.
It was mainly the discrimination I detest, the way women tend to put themselves small compared to everyone else. Traditionally we are taught that women cant behave in certain ways, cant do certain things, cant get certain things, against my believe in treating ppl as individuals, not by labeling - skin color, ethnicity, religion and even sex. Now that's a different story.
Nway, then came womanhood. And as I get older, I become less angry. I still question, but less assertively. And I opted educating rather than scolding. It's not conforming but somehow im being more diplomatic and 'serene' in getting my points across. Partially it's not their fault, it was the way they were brought up, they are already used to it. And I'm not proud of the way I used to act around them, nor the way I treat them. They deserve better, the very best.
I know they miss me. Eventually ive become their fav "ears to borrow" (I lent them my ears, get it? belasah la)
the minute I reached there, my mom was all over me with stories and stuff, from worldly affairs to things thatve been bothering her. The next morning was Wan's turn. & always, the time was while I was glued to astro. Such perfect timing. But still, we are bombarded with so much oral input these days that our brains filter out any peripheral infos, which in this case, the shows on TV. I can still enjoy watching my fav shows on TV while listening to them. The wonder of multi tasking. & I found myself enjoying the time spent.
There's this one show I watched with mother last Sunday. About the has been Malay celebrities from the 60's and 70's. She made me watch it. And then hinted for me to give her a CD of songs by Jasni, the late hubby of Neng Yatimah, the proud parents of Rosiyatimah (the heroin in "pendekar bujang lapok", sangat cantik ok!). Alang alang her birthday's coming, I went searching for it. memang takdela kan. Instead I bought her a limited edition of P.ramlee's collections, the "pujaan 60's vol.2" and "aku dan kenangan vol. 2". ok la kan.
So by any chance sape2 tau mane nak beli atau muat turun lagu dengdangan Jasni (have u even heard of him?), please please pretty pls with sugar on top, inform me.. thanks.
I also get to finally watched Qaisy & Laila. I never thot that jehan miskin could act! Or maybe before, I just watched the wrong movies of his. So I take back wut I said about jehan's just another not-so-pretty face trying to show off his body, kaku dan sebagainye. maafkan saya
even a smile can be charity
edited : im not going to far far away afterall. The much-awaited family vacation is act "atas urusan rasmi" abah. So we wont be spending much time together anyway. Plus my bro is having exams on those dates. Another bro has to get back early, "atas urusan rasmi" as well. If my bros not goin, I don't wanna go. Let it be like some sort of second honeymoon for them..
gabus, pls jadi g sipadan, since I'm not goin anywhere.. kalau tak aku merajuk 10 hari dgn korg. DAHLA PEGI SITE SURVEY TINGGALKAN ASST. DIRECTOR, hmmph!!!
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